You are probably doing one of these two things:
1. You think you are slick by checking my profile to see what my away message is, so you don't have to IM me and look stupid.
-or-
2. You are looking stupid because there is a little yellow post-it right next to my name, and yet you still IM me.(With the exception that I was talking to you before and now you are answering me, and in that case you are SLOW!)
You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation
I am in the kitchen "trying" to cook...If I do not return in approximently 30 mintues, may your intentions be to call 9-1-1! Thank you!

The food in my kitchen is calling my name and the chocolates are yelling the loudest....I better go see what they want!

I’m burning down the house, a.k.a: making dinner.

I'm playing a game right now and I'm either dead, dying, or have died a million times. When I get tired of dying, I'll be back.

Unlucky for u! I just picked up a machine gun....run..and hide..(im playing a game for your information and if you had know better you wouldn't have IMed me at the moment) like I said before, run...and hide...

Playing a game right now and winning. INTERRUPT AND BE DESTROYED!

I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up all my time...and practically the whole screen.
Hey! I cannot talk right now because I am playing a computer game that is WAY better than talkin to you.

I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up the whole screen. Ok, no, I would really never say something like that, but I am playing a game so I’ll come back when I die or some special gets on wink, wink. ;-)

God made oceans, god made lakes
god made the backstreet boys...hey everyone makes mistakes!

][_, ([]) ][_, ....][)) ][\][ ][))
Nu incerca sa iei toata viata dintr-o inghititura ca s-ar putea sa te ineci

Stand pe marginea imaginara a sferei elipsoidale generata de vibratiile epileptice ale atomului universului, ma intreb: Ce e de mancare?

my imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend

1)Coincidentele sunt coincidente iar minunile sunt minuni.O singura coincidenta este insa o minune si o singura minune coincidenta:iubirea.
2)E preferabil sa stranesti invidia decat mila.
3)Singura modalitate de a te elibera de ispita este sai cedezi.
4)Trebuie sa ne bucuram de clipa ca si cum ar dura mereu.
5)Omul cel mai fericit este cel care-i face fericiti pe cat mai multi oameni.
6)Credinta face totul posibil,dragostea face totul usor.
7)Nu e treaba magarului de unde beau oile apa.

Cand alegi un tel, tinteste luna! Chiar daca nu vei nimeri, oricum te vei numara printre stele

Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime

Ne joue pas avec moi!" In traducere : "don't mess with me "

Azi am prins la fix 2 tramvaie, 3 masini si 2 metrouri, am ajuns sa predau ce trebuia sa predau, mi-am uitat un cadou pe scaun in RATB, mi-am adus aminte cand am coborat, am urcat repede si l-am recuperat… is this “Christmas spirit” or what?

Fiecare al cincelea om e chinez. Si noi suntem cinci in familie, deci cineva e chinez. Poate tata sau mama, poate frate-meu mai mare Costel, sau frate-meu mai mic Ho-Xiao-Pen. Eu cred ca-i Costel..

 Exista doua tipuri de oameni: cel care spune intotdeauna ce gandeste, si cel care are prieteni.

Am avut o zi foarte grea. Am imbracat o camasa, mi-a cazut un nasture. Am ridicat servieta, mi-a cazut manerul. Mi-e asa frica sa ma duc la closet.

O fata m-a telefonat si mi-a spus: "Vin-o la mine. Nu-i nimeni acasa!". M-am dus, nu era nimeni acasa...

vreau sa ma culc.. dar mi-e lene

Don't Panic. Count to ten... then Panic!

Join the army, travel the world, meet interesting people and shoot them!

De ce de fiecare data cand incerc sa te sun operatorul imi spune: "abonatul este o maimuta, va rugam apelati la zoo.."?

Dumnezeu a creat lumea din nimic. Nimicul se mai vede, inca, pe ici, pe colo.

Daca ti-e foame - maninca sare : o sa iti fie sete !